Grumpy Ghost

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Somniloquy
the Republic of Heaven
…and i’m the queen of the moon
Grumpy Ghost

Lost

lost
on an island where you brought her
you brought her
now she’s lost
left
to survive with what you taught her
you taught her
now she’s lost

and they saw it all by the light of the lighthouse tall
she ate him whole
he took the fall
and she’s got a fang and a werewolf brain
she screams the moon with her frozen gang

and it’s time to leave a place
when your head is underwater
and the curtains are so tattered
that you can’t make a dress even out of the shreds

cleft
by the diamond that you bought her
you bought her
what is left
tossed
in a life that doesn’t suit her
with a love that will pollute her
now she’s lost

you can’t make a dress even out of the shreds
though you try and you try and you do it again
isn’t that my blood running down my white gown

Mama, can’t you see I am
everything you asked
and now who am I

ding dong the witch is dead
come and bring me her green head
she had a lot to learn about me

and it’s time to leave a place
when your head is underwater
and the curtains are so tattered
that you can’t make a dress even out of the shreds

Barbi Lane

I remember flames
library games
dressing as the Lady of Lourdes for Halloween

7641
if you get lost
tell the man with the gun

Mrs. Fodor
with the curlers in her hair
lost her husband
and she doesn’t seem to care
see the school kids
hiding in the trees
camouflaging themselves
from the carpool police

why would I go back
what would bring me back

little House bonnets
bicentennial parades
children laughing at my terrible taste
dancing in ashes
my first idea of snow
reveling in dying dreams
of a distant volcano

everything is perfect in this imperfect state

what would bring me back to Candyland and
secrets too dark for suburban man
weren’t these homes built on sacred ground
how did it become distilled with
disneyland and dairy cows

why do you want to come dredge this up

memory’s a funny thing
do you recall what happened to me

Harder

when you knew me I was a willow
bowing to every breeze
you could tell me I was a vampire
and I’d suck ’til you were on your knees

now I am harder than I ever thought I could
and if you are a soothing balm
I wish you would

when you knew me I was smaller
I couldn’t catch the latch from where I stood
but when the spit flew from the Furies
I only did what any woman would

when you knew me I was a dandelion
and you had the breath to make me fly
but roots are holding and color’s showing
and where I dispersed I multiplied

I am softer than the sweetest summer would
and if you want to pray to me
I think you could

So Lovely

you’re so lovely
when you’re down on your knees
you’re so wise
when you’re talking in your sleep
you’re so charmed
with your arms around me
you’re so lovely

Aphrodite hear me now
show me show me show me how
press those lips upon my hair
make me make me make me fair

Mr. Rogers says I can
get my hooks in a righteous man
got my sailboat, got my bait
now alls I gots to do is wait

you’re so holy, you’re so sane
you’re so quick to call my name
you’re so calm and you’re so clean
you’ve got everything that I need

let your love come down and
lift me from my ordinary world
let my life show that I’m
more than just an ordinary girl

your divinity flows through me like wine
your divinity followed me through time

you’re so gentle
as you’re climbing over me
you’re so hard
but only when you need to be
you’re so lovely

little moonchild
still afraid of the sea
take my hand
what is meant to be

will be you’re so lovely

Requiem

I know that I’ve taken all I could from this
a dead man’s word was broken in a garden Judas kiss
someone knew his plans
someone knew the man

would you take from me this pain,
this pain that I extract from you again, again

I let myself be prey to rabbit traps so plainly placed
there is a hell that we create
that now I just choose to erase

no matter how many times you cry
you’ll never be the one who died
catching him in strangers’ eyes
no matter how many times
you’ve made him into a god damned hero
and I made him mine
I made you mine

you could be someone without me

I have to shove off from this black eroding shore
nothing here can hold me down
no one binds me anymore

before the bloom has faded from the rose
I cut myself off, I let myself go

I could be someone without you
but I’m not a worthy acolyte

you’re too scared to conjure
the one you loved the most
so you’ve decreased his essence
into a tired and grumpy ghost

I will bloom again
you have never seen me
you have never seen me
but I will bloom again